Run for Your Life

Unlike the slinkie, which serves little purpose except to bring a smile to your face when you push it down the stairs (features that I believe it shares with certain human beings), sometimes you come across an item whose only purpose seems to be... just that particular item. An item that is absolutely useless.

Yet, even complete lack of sensible purpose is a source of entertainment, awe, and wonder. Take for example Junkfunnel Labs' suspicous-looking device. It doesn't even have a name; it's simply a device, and its only purpose is to look suspicious in the way that would desert airports and inspire elaborate conspiracy theories. Any area where this device is found is guaranteed to be instantly evacuated and sealed by yellow police line tape.

Granted, these days it seems anything can label you a terrorist on the suspicion that you're carrying an improvised explosive device, but still, the suspicious-looking device from Junkfunnel Labs includes all of the features of a device expected to have been manufactured by a clandestine organization that goes all the way up to the president.

The single purpose of the device is to look suspicious, but you can use this to your advantage and turn the device into a dumb-people repellant.

Statistics teach us that about half of the population have an IQ below average, and this means they will probably not understand that if the device was seriously meant to be dangerous, the designers would not have gone to such great lengths making the device look suspicious. The designers would instead have attempted to make the device blend in with the surroundings to attract as little attention as possible.

Not realizing that if the device looks that suspicious, then there's probably nothing to be afraid of, they'll be struck by fear and will leave the area.

People that are bright enough to understand that this device is evidently a practical joke can be expected to stay around, and not only will you find yourself in company with comparably bright people, you'll also have an excellent conversation piece for initiating contact with these people.

I'm sorry. I just realized my misanthropia is showing. I'll get back to building my doomsday devices now.