Single Dad's Burger Treat

Burgers from McDonalds and Burger King are greasy and gross, and any self-respecting mom knows that she can cook a burger that is much healthier and which tastes better... unless you ask for the children's opinion. If nothing beats mom's food, burgers are the exception that proves the rule. Children don't like mom's burgers.

Single dads can take advantage of that. Here comes the secret behind making a home-made burger so greasy and unhealthy that moms will hate them and kids will love them. It is the kind of burger that only a single dad would make.

The beef recipe is straight-forward. It's simple, because good burgers aren't supposed to be good. Make the burger beef by mixing two pounds of ground meat, a spoonful of flour, two spoonfuls of water, half a minced onion, a teaspoon salt, and some fresh-ground pepper. This servers about six burgers. Make sure you mix the ingredients well. Don't be afraid to use your hands for the job.

The first secret lies in the frying technique. First, form pancakes out of the meat, making each burger beef about twice the diameter of the bun, and as flat as possible. Get your frying pan, and turn up the heat to almost maximum. Leave the frying pan completely dry without the use of fats, and put the burger beef onto the pan once it's hot. Within half a minute the beef will have reduced to the size of the bun. Press the beef hard against the pan with a flat knife. When the beef is done on one side, turn it around, and press it hard against the pan. For the last thirty seconds of frying, put a small amount of butter onto the beef, and let it melt.

As soon as you remove the beef from the frying pan, put a slice of cheese on each of them. You should use the kind of cheese that you use for toasts.

The buns themselves are purchased pre-baked. Now the second secret: don't put the buns on a toaster, because this will make them appear dry and fresh. Instead, put them in the microwave for little less than a minute so they will become hot and moist.

Assemble the burger from bun, ketchup, beef and various salads, and then top it off with Thousand Island dressing and the top of the bun. The third and last of the secrets is a psychological trick that reminds the children of the greasy burgers at McDonalds and Burger King. The secret is to include a pickle and a piece of salad that the children can complain about and remove from the burger before eating it.