Scientific Proof of the Power of Mecca

Ingestion of holy water from Mecca can turn people Muslim. This is the amazing conclusion after subjecting holy water from Mecca to scientific tests.

A local ethnic store had a specialty for sale: genuine, holy water from Mecca. At a discount price of only $3 for a beautiful plastic amphora filled with the waters from the Holy City, the offer was too good to pass.

As sensible skeptics, we suspected that perhaps the amphora might contain nothing but simple tap water, but the store assured us that no-one would buy tap water for $3 a bottle in those quantities, and therefore the water was indeed the real thing.

We were still not entirely convinced, but the store owner added that Muslims purchased these bottles to keep in their homes as well, and that they would obviously never cheat their fellow peoples.

In addition, the Arab letters clearly described the contents of the container as holy water imported from the holy city in Saudi Arabia. There could be no doubt about its authenticity.

Thus the proud and unexpected owners of such a rarity, we began to wonder what to do with this sacriligious item. We are not Muslims, and therefore had no clue what to do with such holy water. Fortunately we don't belong to any other religion either and therefore needed not worry about going to a wrong Hell in case we misapplied the contents.

Instead, we decided to perform some experiments to see if holy water from the holy city of Mecca would demonstrate an effect different from that of regular tap water.

To begin with, we decided to water one of our plants with the holy water. The plant showed no difference in growth, except that within days the plant started to turn away from the light outside the window. Since the plant thrived, evidently the light did no harm, but it seemed very unusual for a plant to turn away from the light.


On repeating the experiment in different rooms with windows facing in different directions it became clear that the plants did indeed not turn away from the light, but instead all leaned towards the south-east of here: more specifically, in the direction of Mecca.

We had seen the first proof that the holy waters from Mecca had a distinct effect.

This sparked our interest, and we decided to go one step further and test the product on animals. We felt relatively secure that the water would not be harmful after the experiments with the plants.

We devised a test where one rat stayed on its regular diet and another rat changed from tap water to holy water. After one week, we offered the rats a piece of pork chops. Again, the result was striking. The rat that had continued to drink regular tap water immediately began to eat the piece of pork chop that we offered to it ("Before" image, indicating the original behavior). The rat that had received holy water in its water bottle showed no interest in the pork chop at all ("After" image, indicating the new behavior):


Since we know that Muslims do not eat pork, the reaction from the rat that had ingested holy water indicates a clear influence from the holy water from Mecca.

It was now time to extend the experiment to humans. Prominent members of the Danish People's Party have on several occasions compared Muslims with rats, and this might imply that rats would show a particularly positive reaction towards the holy water from Mecca. The question therefore remained: would humans react differently than rats?

We hesitated for a while but finally decided to carry out an experiment on our own children. Many leading politicians and Christian theologists have already explained that Islam turns people into fundamentalists and terrorists, and perhaps the effects of the holy water from Mecca would support their explanations.

We secretly replaced his drinking water with holy water from Mecca, and observed his reaction. After one week, we began to see patterns in his behavior that could indicate a distinctly Muslim effect, as shown in the picture to the right.

His behavior is not conclusive evidence, however, as our son may have been influenced by his parents, who are neither republican nor Christian, and we do not support the so-called war on terror.

Our final experiment is still only at the planning stage where yours truly will attempt to brew beer using the holy water from Mecca. We hypothesize that the beer will become non-alcoholic because Muslims are required to abstain from alcoholic drinks. This will be an ultimate sacrifice from me, but I am prepared to make this offer in the name of science.

If it turns out that the holy water of Mecca can indeed influence people and matter, the conclusion should cause alarm, as it means that terrorists could threaten to contaminate Western water supplies with water imported from Saudi Arabia, or perhaps already be doing it, causing an increase in fundamentalism and state terrorism in the nations whose waters are contaminated.