The Art of Lying (Part Two)

A far more effective lie detector than minor emotional effects is the actual body language connected with lying. The following body language cues are indicative of a lie:

1. A person usually shows reduced involvement when he lies. Shrugs are limp, hands rest in the lap, etc.
2. The timing between body language and speech is off. If a person shakes his head before his spoken statement, his "no" is probably true. But if he doesn't shake his head until after he has spoken, beware that he may be lying.
3. Delay and retention of a "feeling." A surprise happens fast, and wears off fast, but if a person lies, he will only pretend to be surprised after a short delay, and will then maintain the surprised look for longer than seems right.
4. If a smile does not cover the entire face (e.g., if the eyes do not smile either), the smile is not honest.
5. The liar will attempt to create a distance between him and his victim by placing objects between him and the victim (e.g., a glass), by leaning his head back or to the side, by moving towards the exit, by avoiding physical contact (e.g., the touch of an arm), etc.
6. A liar will use powerful statements to convince his victim. If the honest student says: "I don't think I've tried to cheat on a test," the liar will say: "I would never do such a thing as cheating on a test!" If the victim does not seem to be convinced, the liar will find additional arguments until the victim appears to accept the lie.
   

The Liar's Focus

The liar's primary wish is to convince his victim of the lie. This desire is so intense that all other details fade. The liar can be exposed by paying attention to these details:

1. Ownership is removed; the liar speaks of "the car," "the child," not "my car" or "my daughter," and the words "I," "we," and "us" are rarely used.
2. Answers are often impersonal and general. If you ask: "did you lie to me when we spoke yesterday," the liar might answer: "I would never lie to you." This answer avoids the specific situation. Similarly the liar will attempt to provide answers referring to indistinct, tacit knowledge, effectively evading the question. Or the liar might choose to use sarcasm to ridicule your question—and thereby avoid it.
3. There is little focus on irrelevant details. A liar will seldom mention other people's presumed thoughts, views, or reactions when he tells his tale. The liar will also forget the negative experiences when he tells you his story: the baggage is never lost in a made-up journey.
4. The liar does not want to be drawn into a discussion; he wants to finish the story. The liar will therefore rarely ask about something to keep the conversation going. He is relieved when the subject changes.

The Liar Knows He Lies

A liar is not surprised to know he lies, and that provides a number of additional cues:

1. If the liar is accused of lying, he will show no sign of surprise: the "what?!" reaction never appears.
2. If the person has a reply that seems rather rehearsed, expect him to lie. (If he is capable of providing several exact times of day replies on his whereabouts yesterday, something is wrong.)
3. Lies are hard to remember, and the liar will unconsciously help his own memory by mnemotechniques. Times of day, wages, counts, etc. are often similar (they are the same number or they are multiples of one another).
4. The lie is presented as something that is uninteresting. If a person that never goes abroad suddenly announces: "I'm going to Spain for two weeks" and doesn't voice his concern about luggage, maybe the destination isn't in Europe.

Active Lie Detection

The previous sections gave some indications of cues of lies. Some of them are revealed during conversation, and conversation provides you with a number of tools that are particularly effective. In many cases you can use the same weapon as the liar: dishonesty.

1. Give the liar a chance to lie. If you then catch him lying, you know that he's a liar. A very determined liar will lie as soon as he believes he will gain an advantage. (If you know that the price tag of a car will stay constant for the next year and you ask the car dealer: "is it true that the manufacturer will raise the price on this model in about two months?," the dishonest car dealer will answer "yes" immediately if you've shown interest in buying a more expensive model.)
2. Insinuate instead of accusing. Instead of asking: "were you fired?," ask: "do you keep in touch with your previous employer?" Similarly, you could say: "amazing that someone can (whatever it is you suspect) and think I wouldn't notice." Answers such as "why do you ask?" or "where did you hear that?" could indicate a lie.
3. Ask a related question: "were you back around two o'clock tonight?" will answer the question "were you out?" If this doesn't pay off, the question: "I thought you were the kind of person that loved to go out?" can probably make the person admit it.
4. Destroy the liar's sense of time. It is easy to admit that you "borrowed" your parents' car when you were 18 once you've turned 30, and this mechanism can be used to your advantage. If you can make the liar believe you always knew the truth, the liar will think it is safe to admit the lie because it has become a joke by now.
5. The liar will react on an unspecific accusation. You can make him become specific about his lie by saying, e.g.: "we both know what I mean. We just need to find a solution, and the best place to start is at the beginning, so why don't you just start there?" You can always follow up by stating: "I'm sure you'll remember" or "everyone knows already."
6. Give the liar some statements that are not accusations but make the liar feel uncomfortable. Consider how a burglar would react to the statement: "Someone has robbed my home, and since you have the key the Police wants to talk with you. You're not a suspect, so it's just a formality." If the person begins to explain why he cannot be a suspect, suspect something.
7. Let the liar create a web of explanations. If you expected the person to be home, why weren't his car in the garage? And why did you get his answering machine? If the person speaks the truth, then he will correct you if you are lying in your questions. Otherwise the person will adapt his story to suit your "facts," but eventually it will become too far-fetched.
8. Give the person an opportunity to use the lie to his advantage. For example, the Police that interrogates a suspected car thief might suggest: "we're looking for a person that knows how to steal a car. You're not going to get in trouble, and we'd like to use your skills..."
9. Give the person an uncomfortable piece of information that is not an accusation. If the person feels that he is being accused, he will defend himself. For example, if you tell two of your lovers that: "I've contracted a VD, and I think you should know," and they provide the following answers, the liar that won't admit he passed it on to you is the one that provides the first answer: "You didn't get it from me!" versus "What?! Do you think you may have passed it on to me?" The honest person will be concerned about his health whereas the liar will be concerned about being exposed.
   

Motivate Truth

The liar has an interest in lying to you, so to pull the truth out of him you must either catch him red-handed or give him a good reason to admit the lie. In other words, you must make it more attractive for him to tell you the truth than to lie. Again, you can employ a number of methods which of course require you to seem honest yourself. Lay the bait, lure him into the trap by indicating that other options are bad, and then let him make the decision.

1. Give the liar the opportunity to explain that a misdeed was an accident, not evil intent.
2. Let the person think that he did something right. For example, you could ask: "why did you do this behind my back? I think it was a wonderful idea! We should work together on that," and he'll probably admit he did it, whatever it was.
3. Give the person the impression that either you cooperate or you'll both lose everything.
4. Give him a deadline: "I want to know it from you, now. Tomorrow it won't matter anymore." This is a veiled threat, indicating that something terrible will happen unless he admits here and now.
5. Take the blame for his actions, stating that he has your understanding that you gave him no other choice than to lie.
6. Give an unspecific threat: "I'm sorry, but you leave me with no choice," but do not explain in any way what you might have in mind. Instead, observe his reaction. If he is interested in the consequences, then probably he has lied. If he insists that he is innocent, then probably he is.
7. Use the person's ego against him. "I think I know what the problem is. You're not allowed to tell me. Someone owns you, and you'll get in trouble" will hurt his ego and motivate him to show you that he is not someone's bitch.
8. Pretend to side with the person against some (possibly imaginary) authority. Catholic priests have used this tactic for confessions for centuries, but you can also refer to managers, parents, etc. If you are offered the chance at a job interview to fix errors in your resume before "they" get the chance to review it, then your interviewers may be suspecting you of lying in your resume.
9. Move punishment to the unknown territory. Do not provide any hints of when punishment for a lie will be administered, and let the suspected liar know that the punishment is not an isolated event, but something that will have an impact on the person's entire life.
10. Starve the vampire. Most people crave attention, and by giving the liar the impression that you do not care the least, the liar might begin to fear that you expected this from the liar, that you have terrible plans, etc. You can simply shrug it off: "I know, and I don't care. It's not my concern" or "you just do what you find necessary. It's fine with me". The liar will not be content until he knows he's convinced you.
    

Keep the Lie Alive

In many cases it does not pay to expose a lie, and it is probably only in rare circumstances that it pays to let the liar know that he has been exposed.

Instead, you can turn the person's lie to your own advantage. When people lie, typically they do so to put themselves in a positive light, and a helpful hand is always welcome. Parents would hardly contradict an acquaintance that claims that she loves little children in an attempt to give a good impression, because left uncontradicted, she will have a hard time refusing the task as a nanny.

Similarly, someone might involve you in a lie, and that can be an advantage. For example, if a friend of yours lies to his girlfriend, telling her that he was downtown with you all night, then he has provided you with an alibi for any clandestine action you might have been involved in at the same time. It is risky business, but there may be situations where it is useful.

The next article on the art of lying will appear on this blog in about a month, and will concentrate on those factors that contribute to successful manipulation of other human beings. So keep your bookmarks updated and check back often!

Part I, Part II, Part III